talking to people

My parents were right. It was that damn phone.

”Smart” phone

Talking to strangers has got to be a new generational fear. I feel that it is becoming increasingly popular to fear social interactions among younger people. I too am a victim of this phenomenon. Now, let me be clear. Fearing strangers and social interactions is not a new thing. I just think we are becoming so alienated by so many factors of modern life that we are forgetting how to socialize, and now we fear the idea of it if we are not somewhat familiar with the person we are talking to. No doubt social anxiety, smartphone addiction, and loneliness all feed off of each other. Each has become its own topic of discussion with video essayist philosophers and TikTok-IG reels gurus alike. I am not going to rehash any of those things. We all know we are getting worse, society is getting worse, and that we are too comfortable to do anything about it. I will say, I think things are getting better, maybe.

I have been making a conscious effort over the past year or so to spend less time on social media. It first started out as removing it from my iPhone. Then exploring the idea of getting a “dumb” phone (flip phone). I ended up getting a Unihertz Jelly Star instead, which is the world’s smallest Android phone with a three-inch screen. Yeah, pretty extreme just to break my social media doom-scrolling addiction, but you know what? It worked. I am more productive, I have hobbies again, and I read books. Most importantly, I am learning how to talk to people again. Yes, I am afraid sometimes, and yes, sometimes I can’t think of anything to say and I say something really dumb which makes me cringe, but it really does not matter. It’s wonderful.

I am excited to talk to my friends again. Conversations are fun and engaging. Movies are fun to watch again. When I am feeling social, I like meeting new people, and I am beginning to feel more social more often. There are days when I don’t want to talk to anyone. When those days come, I just rest, and now I actually feel recharged because I am not obliterating my brain with constant rot, flicking away at the human mouse wheel. Social media has gotten to the point where it treats us as if we are human cattle, and our attention spans are the precious Wagyu beef cultivated via a diet of bloated, nonsense content. Nobody’s thoughts are their own anymore. The algorithm and the explore page tell everyone what to think, how to dress, what to buy, and what to like. Popular culture is eroding away, and subcultures are dying. Or so I thought for a while, until I put the damn phone down.

The Characters of Real Life

I don’t sit on my phone out in public as often. I don’t have any apps to look at, really. Sometimes I will check my email, check the time, or pull up an article online. In most cases, that will only use up maybe five to ten minutes of my time. If you ask me, that is how it should be. That is how the internet used to be in the days of dial-up. You would check if anyone posted anything new on your favorite forum or blog, maybe scroll for a bit, then log off. Now I notice all kinds of things. I look at trees and wonder how far back their memories go. I observe the people around me without lingering so as to not disturb them, but just enough to come up with ideas and stories. Just recently, I met an older guy, big scruffy beard. He was a wizard in essence and appearance. He had been on the internet longer than I had been alive. He spoke of dial-up, IRC, BBS, paying by the minute for long-distance connections. The works. He regaled my friend and me with tales of the old days, tales of internet stories, Imgur for looking at early internet memes, and early search engines. I have spoken to wonderful artists and writers, film bros and cottagecore girlies. I have heard interesting stories and wild tales. There are a lot of characters out there, and for better or worse, that includes you and me. It feels dumb, but these are moments that feel genuine.

Soap

This is no soapbox polemic. Neither is this an attempt to cast myself from some special cloth. I kinda want the internet in its current state to die. It’s just not fun anymore. It’s a shame because I remember old Twitter, and that was truly a fun and wild place. Now everything is just piss and shit (sometimes literally). Perhaps this is just growing up, but others are beginning to feel the same. I only learned of social media detox and dumbphones from other people online who were feeling these same feelings of dread. It was comforting in a way to know that I am not crazy. We just weren’t made to constantly have so much unfiltered access to everything at all times. So I started talking to people again. Weirdos, strangers, and wizards. And I began to feel better.